So I see that the new Bond film, Quantum of Solace, had the best opening of any Bond film ever, despite having the most whatchoo-talkin-bout-Willis title of any Bond film ever. I sincerely hope the franchise’s producers take this as a dare w/r/t future Bond film titles.
Here are some suggestions:
Fistula of Execrescence
Die This Very Minute. No, We’re Not Kidding—You, Buying The Ticket Right Now, Drop Dead
German Schiesse Movie
Anybody else got any ideas?
‘Quantum of Gadgets, Explosions & No Fat Chicks’
I would shell out ten bucks to see FISTULA OF EXCRESCENCE. No question.
Say Never Again.
On Her Majesty’s Secret Cervix.
Mondo Bondo.
Dr. Maybe
Schadenfreude Phantasmagoria
The Time To Die and the Time Not To Die
The Die Has Been Cast
I’m waiting for Hypotenuse of Delirium.
From Tehran With Love
I vote for Modicum of Vernacular.
The Slough of Mr. Bond
Ain’t No Sunshine When He’s Bond
Synecdoche, New York II
Kill or be Grilled (villian is a chaos-loving elebrity chef/terrorist)
Platypussy.
The Man with the Golden Thesaurus.
Sean George Roger Timothy Pierce Daniel.
Fleming Creatures.
Higgs Boson of Despair
Wavefunction of Anger
From Buffalo with Bombast
Invocation of My Demon Planck’s Constant
After seeing it, I can only come up with:
Quantum of Crap
Dr. Stranglehold, or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bond
Simulacrum of Indulgence
Moonreicher (Bond takes on Nazis in space)
Live and Die After living
The World Is Not Enough, but Eight Is Enough
The spy who performed a vasectomy
The Man with the Living Goldenpussy
Or he could be a time traveler: QUANTUM LEAP OF SOLACE.
“Quantum of Crap” implies there wasn’t much…false advertising.
I propose “Cut to the Chase.”
“The Man with the Living Goldenpussy”
I think I seen this one.….late at night.…..in a sleazy Munich hotel.…..and I had to pay in overpriced euros the next morning.…..
Zones of Indeterminacy
A Spiraling Disorder
Reassertion of Order
Segmenting Multiplicity
(Actually, I can’t take credit for these. They were derived from a couple of sentences in a Chris Fujiwara piece on the films of Jerry Lewis for MOVING IMAGE SOURCE, quoted at Green Cine Daily today!)
These I’ll take credit for:
A Cognition of Emesis
Pertinacious Euterpe
Cornice of Antipathy
The Syzygian Symmetry
The Bond Supremacy
The Bitch is Back
You Asked For It
Too Hot To Handle
Property of A Lady
(yes, I’m a smartass.)