Misc. inanity

Dear David Mamet, I love you again...

By December 18, 2008No Comments

I talked to Jeremy on the phone, and he told me that he dis­covered that he had a very high level of mer­cury. So my under­stand­ing is that he is leav­ing show busi­ness to pur­sue a career as a thermometer.”

So sayeth the bard, apro­pos Mr. Piven’s drop­ping out of a Broadway reviv­al of Speed The Plow.

A sharp tongue with zero respect for pro­pri­ety seems to be a sig­nal fea­ture in the Mamet fam­ily. Many of you may recall Mamet’s sis­ter­’s reflec­tions on pas­trami, in the essay “On True Stories of Bitches,” col­lec­ted in Mamet’s book Some Freaks  Writing in Restaurants. If you don’t, by all means check out the piece posthaste.

Of course, one’s amuse­ment at the above quip will likely be tempered by wheth­er or not one believes Mr. Piven is being entirely straight up about the mat­ter. I sus­pect that Mamet’s not buy­ing it. I also sus­pect that even if he was buy­ing it, he simply would not be able to res­ist the line. 

I’ve nev­er met the putat­ively stricken act­or, but boy, have I heard stor­ies. Few are repeat­able. My repeat­able favorite—stop me if you’ve heard it before—concerns some fal­lout over my rather neg­at­ive review of Very Bad Things in 1998. He met a Première col­league at a party in Chicago, and asked her first, how old I was, and second, wheth­er I was British or not. As if some com­bin­a­tion of these factors would account for what in his mind was my incom­pre­hens­ible incom­pre­hen­sion of the film. It so hap­pens that I am a mere six years and one month older than the actor. 

(VBT’s dir­ect­or Peter Berg had a some­what more incuri­ous reac­tion to my notice. “That review was fuck­ing uncool!” he snapped to a dif­fer­ent col­league from a red car­pet. That’s right, “uncool,” as in what Angelina did. But not just “uncool.” “Fucking uncool.” Darn.)

Giving Piven the bene­fit of the doubt, I wish him a speedy recov­ery. Lay off the tekka-don, fella; that’ll help. As for Mamet, thank you for mak­ing us laugh again.

No Comments

  • Michael Dempsey says:

    The David Mamet essay, “On Bitches,” is actu­ally called “True Stories Of Bitches,” and it’s in “Writing In Restaurants.”

  • Glenn Kenny says:

    Thanks, sir. I really ought to check these things rather than rely­ing on my increas­ingly inef­fect­ive memory.
    I accur­ately recall that I first read the piece in Playboy. See, people DO get it for the articles!

  • bill says:

    I pulled down the Mamet book – I could­n’t remem­ber if I’d read that essay or not – and holy shit, you gotta have the guts of Mamet’s sis­ter to throw out a line like that. But the anec­dote at the end of the essay (which I remembered quite clearly, so I had read it before), about Mamet’s encounter with a strange woman in a res­taur­ant is worse than “fuck­ing uncool”: it’s fuck­ing cold-blooded! I actu­ally remem­ber think­ing less of Mamet – an artist­ic hero of mine – when I read that the first time. If it’s true, which I guess it might not be.
    Anyhow, this Piven story has really been mak­ing the rounds today. I remem­ber read­ing some­thing about him pub­licly admit­ting how ter­ri­fied he was to be tak­ing on the play, or maybe just live theat­er in gen­er­al, so I, too, I’m dis­in­clined to believe that his mer­cury levels are soar­ing. Still, what an odd excuse. The strange­ness of it does make me won­der a little if he’s on the level.
    And I’ve heard (read) your Piven story before, and I STILL want to read that “Very Bad Things” review…

  • EOTW says:

    VBT is one the worst, ugli­est, vile things ever put on film. I’m amazed it took.

  • Tram says:

    I’m still chuck­ling over Mamet’s take on Blagojevich, via HuffPo:
    “I am from Chicago, and, so, hav­ing been dis­il­lu­sioned with polit­ics at an early age I do not become involved. The only reas­on I vote is because they pay me.”

  • Dan Coyle says:

    I always thought it was funny about VBT that Jeanne Tripplehorn and Leland Orser star­ted a rela­tion­ship and got mar­ried not long after shoot­ing that movie. Hey, at least SOMEONE got some­thing out of it!

  • greg mottola says:

    Mr. Mamet was my pro­fess­or for one semester at Columbia film school. His book ‘On Directing Film’ was actu­ally com­piled from our classes (it was just eight stu­dents and Mamet). He mocked me once in front of my class­mates and his post-production team … it’s too long of an anec­dote, but it was essen­tially Mamet say­ing that I had bet­ter improve my work habits if I ever hoped to “get cof­fee for him on the set of a movie”. In ret­ro­spect, I surely deserved it.

  • bill says:

    Ouch. That’s not in the book, is it?

  • Dan Coyle says:

    Eh, i’d rather watch The Daytrippers than an epis­ode of The Unit…
    Heh heh. I said “unit”. he he he.

  • Brian says:

    The Daytrippers is great! I really love that film.

  • greg mottola says:

    ha, thanks for the daytrip­pers men­tions … if only i could get it back into DVD cir­cu­la­tion (Steven Soderbergh is try­ing to help me get it re-released). And, no, my dav­id mamet humi­li­ation isn’t in the book … just etched into my memory.

  • Dan Coyle says:

    See? See? He lost his hands. NOW HE CAN’T POINT!

  • koppelman says:

    real ques­tion is how did mamet the writer fall so far from Speed the Plow to November? and Mottola–

  • greg mottola says:

    Mamet was nice enough to give us tick­ets to the final dress rehears­al of Speed The Plow (the ori­gin­al pro­duc­tion, that is). It was funny as hell, in spite of Madonna.

  • koppelman says:

    yeah, the ori­gin­al, which I saw too, was phe­nom­en­al. Joe Montegna and Ron Silver were in peak form. Mottola–I can­’t wait to see adven­ture­land. Just worked with Jesse and think he is about to go on a hell of a run…