Festivals

Cannes don't

By April 23, 2009No Comments

Well. Now that the offi­cial lineup of this year’s Cannes Film Festival is out, and the blo­go­sphere du cinema is all abuzz with excite­ment over the lineup, while more main­stream out­lets pre­dict­ably tut-tut the marked mea­ger­ness of American fare in the com­pet­i­tion (to which I say, [yawn], and “Shut the fuck up”), I sup­pose it’s a good time to inform you, faith­ful read­er, that I will not attend the festival—my favor­ite, in a leis­urely stroll along the seaside—this year. 

To be brief, I did the math, and it does­n’t quite work. I was plan­ning on beg­ging, bor­row­ing, and steal­ing to get there if The Girlfriend Experience was gonna be over there (come on, you would too if you were me), but it ain’t, and hence my pre­text for going nuc­le­ar on my bank account does­n’t exist. Too bad; it looks like a very excit­ing pro­gram this year—new work from Resnais, Campion, Tarantino, Bong, To, No, Bellocchio, and many oth­er excit­ing vet­er­ans. I’m glad to see that Andrea Arnold, whose Red Road made such an impres­sion there a couple of years back, is return­ing. I’m flum­moxed that Jim Jarmusch’s new film won’t be there—Cannes is the per­fect ven­ue for it.

Besides all the films I won’t be see­ing right away, I greatly regret that I’ll be miss­ing the com­pany of friends I don’t see often enough, folks with whom I always have, like, the best time ever (see here). And all those French people. Sigh. Maybe next year. In the mean­time, I can start a piggy bank for Toronto… 

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  • S.F. Hunger says:

    I’m assum­ing Limits of Control isn’t show­ing there because it’s being released *before* the fest­iv­al. May 1st is the lim­ited release date.

  • Glenn Kenny says:

    Yes, I know. I’m not usu­ally in the busi­ness of second-guessing dis­trib­ut­ors, but if I were run­ning Focus (what I concept), I would bring the film to Cannes, let the oppro­bri­um and con­tro­versy start roil­ing, and then screen it for some Big Hollywood con­trib­ut­ors to really get the out­rage machine going. No such thing as bad publicity!

  • Rob says:

    Despite, admit­tedly, an excep­tion­ally strong selec­tion (with Haneke, Noe, and Tsai as my favor­ites), the absence of Bruno Dumont’s “Hadewijch”, Todd Solondz’s “Forgiveness”, and the latest by Hong Sang-soo is stun­ning to me.

  • I would­n’t be sur­prised if the Hong is a late-breaking addi­tion to Competition, Rob. They’ve done this with a few of his films.
    Does this make LIMITS the only Jarmusch fea­ture besides his wan debut PERMANENT VACATION to not play at Cannes? Boggles the mind.
    Keep an eye on the Mia Hansen-Love film in Un Certain Regard. Her first work, ALL IS FORGIVEN, is a stunner.

  • Oop, actu­ally, it seems the Hong is in Fortnight, which, along with TETRO and new films from Costa and Alain Guiraudie, looks to be hav­ing quite the year.

  • And a new Luc Moullet! It’s almost worth break­ing the bank for those titles alone.

  • SALO says:

    I’m actu­ally very dis­ap­poin­ted that Bruno Dumont’s “Hadewijch” was not selec­ted. I know that Dumont com­pleted the film a while ago and was really hold­ing onto it with his sights set on a Cannes première. Let’s hope now it does­n’t take two years to hit North American screens. The two films rep­res­ent­ing the USA look excep­tion­ally weak. Lee’s film looks like an epis­ode of that net­work drama “American Dreams,” and the more clips and stills I see of the Tarantino, the worse and more offens­ive it looks. Seriously, where are the Coppola and Jarmusch films in the Official Competition? Also, does any­one know if the new Coen Bros’ film was not com­pleted on time?

  • SALO says:

    Jarmusch’s “Night on Earth” did not première at Cannes either, but instead the ’91 NYFF, I believe.

  • SALO says:

    Is there any advance word on Campion’s Keats biop­ic? Looks poorly cast to me …

  • vadim says:

    Listen to Wells. All Is Forgiven is *great*, and the fact that it was barely seen con­tin­ues to aston­ish me.
    In oth­er news, and I mean this as politely as pos­sible: Bruno Dumont. Who cares. It is a *bless­ing* he’s not in comp.

  • topbroker says:

    Condolences, I guess. This is turn­ing into a micro-trend. Mike D’Angelo was­n’t going to be able to go to Cannes, either, until he decided to hit up his friends for dona­tions – a thor­oughly taste­less ploy that, unfor­tu­nately, is quite in keep­ing with his per­son­al­ity. Don’t even think it, Glenn!
    I’ve nev­er been to Cannes myself, so there is an out­ward lim­it to my sym­pathy. And yes, I was once a minor mem­ber of the paid crit­ic­al fra­tern­ity (eons ago). I can­’t for the life of me fig­ure out how, mov­ing for­ward, any­one is going to make money off cri­ti­cism suf­fi­cient to the cost of attend­ing fest­ivals (any more than news­pa­pers can fig­ure out how they are going to be paid for their news-gathering; it’s a weird trans­ition­al time). There are just too many people out there who are will­ing to write about film for noth­ing – and some of them are even semi-capable, and a few have bankrolls.
    Perhaps the last two stan­zas of Robert Frost’s “Two Tramps in Mud Time” are apro­pos here. Your love and your need are one, but since your chosen pro­fes­sion has effect­ively dis­ap­peared, that still leaves the ques­tion of the rent.
    Nothing on either side was said.
    They knew they had but to stay their stay
    And all their logic would fill my head:
    As that I had no right to play
    With what was anoth­er man’s work for gain.
    My right might be love but theirs was need.
    And where the two exist in twain
    Theirs was the bet­ter right–agreed.
    But yield who will to their separation,
    My object in liv­ing is to unite
    My avoca­tion and my vocation
    As my two eyes make one in sight.
    Only where love and need are one,
    And the work is play for mor­tal stakes,
    Is the deed ever really done
    For Heaven and the future’s sakes.

  • tc says:

    @topbroker: I don’t know Mike D’Angelo, but how he gets to Cannes is plainly his own busi­ness unless he decides to knock over a bank. If he’s got friends will­ing to pitch in, what on earth is that to you and why snipe at him for it? I sus­pect there’s a Robert Frost poem that cov­ers this case, too, but can­’t lay my hands on it at the moment.

  • topbroker says:

    Hey, it’s the Internet. You send in the attack fer­ret whenev­er an oppor­tun­ity presents itself.
    The reas­on I poin­ted this out as a micro-trend is that both Mike D;Angelo and Glenn Kenny, in post­ing about their inab­il­ity to get to Cannes (which is a sig­ni­fic­ant decision in itself, to post about it), hit the same note of slightly wounded enti­tle­ment and truck­ing for sym­pathy. I mean, look at Glenn’s wording:
    “Besides all the films I won’t be see­ing right away, I greatly regret that I’ll be miss­ing the com­pany of friends I don’t see often enough, folks with whom I always have, like, the best time ever…And all those French people. Sigh.”
    If I was going to be really cyn­ic­al, I’d just say, Cry me a river.
    D’Angelo took it one step fur­ther (again, in a pub­lic for­um, and by choice) and said, But you can make it all bet­ter by send­ing me money. He had a Paypal thing set up, and it did work for him. D’Angelo has assembled over the years, at a micro­scop­ic level, a group of loy­al­ists akin to Pauline Kael’s old gang of “Paulettes.” I snipe at it because (a) I think it’s undig­ni­fied and not a mod­el for any­one else to fol­low, and (b) I’m only human, and there’s a his­tory. (Undoubtedly Frost did write about that.)
    The game is muddled right now. What had been Mike’s and Glenn’s and many oth­ers’ “work for gain” does not have the look of being that any more – I’m not being snippy in bring­ing that up because, again, they have both writ­ten about it at length. They now find them­selves in the awk­ward pos­i­tion of being re-categorized from voca­tion­al prac­ti­tion­ers to avoca­tion­al prac­ti­tion­ers of their craft. I think a cer­tain amount of flail­ing about on their part is to be expec­ted, and it is hap­pen­ing. They don’t want to “yield to the sep­ar­a­tion,” and I get that. But it’s a tough world out there these days for many people.

  • Glenn Kenny says:

    @topbroker: I am afraid you mis­read me in sev­er­al respects. I’m not ask­ing for any­one’s sym­pathy. Here’s how it works: I used to be a pro­fes­sion­al film crit­ic. I now make my liv­ing (and it’s not a bad one, albeit a little unsettled) doing…mostly oth­er stuff. I main­tain this blog as a hobby—“avocationally” if you will. Now there actu­ally were quite a few years when I was work­ing as a full-time film crit­ic at Première that I did­n’t cov­er the Cannes Film Festival, and then in 2005, thanks to Peter Herbst, I went for the first time, and have been going ever since. Only not this year. Hence, when the Cannes lineup gets announced and every­body on the blo­go­sphere is get­ting excited about it, if I choose to post about the lineup, well, it behooves me to inform my read­er­ship, which might be expect­ing some Cannes cov­er­age from me, to inform them that I’m not going. SImple as that.
    I’m sorry you chose to inter­pret what was meant as a wist­ful (if you’ll par­don the phrase) shout-out to some col­leagues that I won’t be hanging out with, fol­lowed by what we in the industry call “a joke,” as some sort of exten­ded whinge.
    In oth­er words: don’t put me on the defens­ive, bro. Don’t force me to go to Cannes just to spite you.
    And believe me, next week you’ll be see­ing more than enough posts about how I RULE, and how great my life is.

  • topbroker says:

    If you want to go and it makes you happy, go – by all means. I like your writ­ing and, as long as it’s free (I don’t pay for Internet con­tent), I’d read your dis­patches from Cannes with interest.
    (The “not pay­ing” thing is key. I don’t mean it to be bru­tal, it’s just that there is more free – and good – con­tent on the Internet than I could ever handle, so why should I pay for any of it? That’s the way we live now.)
    Wistful shout-outs to col­leagues can be accom­plished through private email, of course, so when you put it out there in a blog, people will read it as they will. I don’t think that I put an ounce of weight on your words that was­n’t there. There was no “mis­read­ing,” and in any case, as you well know, once the words leave the writer­’s pen and make it to the pub­lic, the writer no longer has real say in what those words “mean.”

  • Zach says:

    @topbroker: Right on, man. Somebody has to keep these inter­net crit­ics in line, espe­cially when they’re all “wah wah wah, I wanna go to Cannes, I can­’t make money from my voca­tion­al prac­ti­tion­ing, it’s become avoca­tion­al prac­ti­tion­ing, boo hoo.” I know, I know: It can be bru­tal. It’s a hard, cold world out there, and if you hurt some feel­ings whilst sooth­say­ing, then So Be It. Another poet (per­haps it was Lowell) once said: The truth’s a bitch. Or the truth hurts. Or some­thing like that. You’d think Glenn would be a little more grate­ful for your kick­ing down to him some good ol’ homespun wis­dom, but no. He’s got to go and be all “humor­ous” and “flip­pant” – all while you were just Telling It Like It Is. Don’t let him try to defend or cla­ri­fy his words – that’s just lame, dude – like pay­ing for inter­net. Which I don’t do either.
    Seriously, I don’t pay for inter­net con­tent. Ever. Never have, nev­er will.
    Boo-yah.

  • Ryan Kelly says:

    Zach, that is just hil­ari­ous. So hil­ari­ous, I’d almost con­sider pay­ing for it…
    …almost.

  • md'a says:

    As top­broker has chosen to post anonym­ously, I have no idea what our alleged his­tory may be. Sorry I pwned you dude.
    In any case, the idea behind my Cannes pledge drive—which was con­ceived on a whim, and which I nev­er for a moment thought would succeed—was that folks who were eager to read my cov­er­age from the fest­iv­al would pay in advance whatever amount they felt that cov­er­age was worth to them, since there was no oth­er way I could pos­sibly attend. I sug­ges­ted $10, though most people gave more. I also dug around until I found a site that would­n’t charge any­one unless and until I reached the goal amount ($2000), so that nobody would get screwed in the (likely, I thought) event that I fell way short. The sub­sequent out­pour­ing of gen­er­os­ity from long­time read­ers truly over­whelmed me, and if I balk at this mir­acle being termed “taste­less” and “undig­ni­fied” it’s primar­ily on their behalf. Certainly there are any num­ber of crit­ics, includ­ing Glenn, whose trip to Cannes I’d hap­pily sub­sid­ize in some small way if the altern­at­ive was not get­ting to read their cov­er­age at all.
    That’s Ed, I agree that this is in no way a viable busi­ness mod­el, and plan to say so tomor­row when I’m inter­viewed about this whole deal for a story Studio 360 is doing on the future of film criticism.

  • Glenn Kenny says:

    Just for the record, Mike, I’m with tc on this “con­tro­versy,” and I say “mazel tov” to you. And, incid­ent­ally, mar­vel at the idea that you’re going to be able to do the whole thing for only two large.

  • Bilge says:

    I think top­broker has made it clear who he is by not­ing that there’s a “his­tory” between him and Mike. But let’s let him pre­tend to hide behind his faux-anonymity for the time being.
    I con­trib­uted money to Mike’s cam­paign, and I did so because Mike is actu­ally quite thor­ough w/r/t his cov­er­age from Cannes. As in, he pretty much writes some­thing about everything he sees. At least, everything he sits through, and he does­n’t walk out of Cannes com­pet­i­tion titles. If I thought the money was merely going to fin­ance a trip to Cannes and then a bunch of 52s on his retarded 100-point grad­ing scale, then I would­n’t have bothered.
    I agree this isn’t a viable mod­el for every­one, but if oth­er crit­ics (like, say, Glenn) tried the same thing, then I’d con­trib­ute money to them, too. Given the fact that I have very little money, that prob­ably makes me a suck­er. But at least I’ll be a suck­er who got to read the cov­er­age HE wanted to read, and not the cov­er­age that some clue­less, tem­por­ary edit­or of some dying alt weekly wanted him to read.

  • S.F. Hunger says:

    I’m glad to know that even D’Angelo’s fans agree that that 100-point rat­ing scale is retarded. Maybe we can start a pledge drive to get him to stop using it?

  • Bilge says:

    FWIW, I believe it was D’Angelo who coined the term “retarded 100-point rat­ing scale.”