See here.
EXHIBIT A: The “Unrated Fully Exposed Edition” Blu-ray disc of Miss March, with a cardboard band covering what is implied to be the naked torso of its female lead, former Eva Mendes stand-in (that’s just a guess) Raquel Alessi.
EXHIBIT B: Close-up of cardboard band “warning,” advising consumer not to open package in the vicinity of a wife or a girlfriend or any such thing. Oooh! Naughty.
EXHIBIT C: The Miss March package without band, revealing an entirely ordinary—some might even argue rather unimpressive by the standard clearly aspired to—shot of Ms. Alessi in a bikini, looking rather like she could hurt you if she wanted.
Some will argue that anyone dumb enough to buy a copy of Miss March probably deserves the let down. And it goes without saying that Alessi does not, as the British put it, get her kit off in the film, either.
Not only that, Alessi doesn’t even wear something that revealing in the movie.
Not that I’ve seen the film.
But if I had seen the film, I’d call it one of the worst of the year, and that the writers-stars-directors really just need to… stop. For a long, long while.
The Erotic Connoisseur rates it: Flaccid!
The Photoshopping Paranoid rates it: Her head is Photoshopped on there!
My God…it’s like you’ve really ‘become’ the Erotic Connoisseur!
The power of cinema.