In her less-than-enthusiastic review of Inglourious Basterds today, New York Times critic Manohla Dargis kind of brings the professional self-loathing or some such thing. Describing the film’s fourth chapter, she notes that it throws in “a risible fiction: a suave film critic.”
It’s hard to know the extent to which she’s kidding or not, given the genuine displeasure the notice seems steeped in. 
Still. Come on. One ought not overgeneralize on the geekiness and putative social unacceptability of the paid cinephile. I mean, look at Michel Ciment, at far right. Sure, the fact that he’s French kind of makes him suave by definition, but the cat can rock the tweeds like nobody’s business. 
And how can we forget Manohla’s predecessor at the Times, Mr. Elvis Mitchell (that’s his badness on the left), who is most aptly described as a suave mother…shut your mouth! Hey, I’m just talking about Elvis. And we can dig it. And while I myself am currently far too chunky to convincingly bring the suave, I believe I’ve had my moments. So: who are your own favorite cinephiles of suavitude?
How about Peter Bogdonavich or François Truffaut?
That ascot means that Bogdonavich is trying way too hard.
THIS man:
http://www.filmmakermagazine.com/winter2004/features/images/critic.jpg
is one, sexy, sexy, beast.
[which is a movie that he surprisingly liked]
James Agee most definitely had his moments of suavity…
http://thisrecording.com/storage/James_Agee.jpg
Is anyone else intimidated by Elvis Mitchell’s hair?
Stanley Kauffmann.
OFerg (http://archive.sensesofcinema.com/images/04/30/otis_ferguson.jpg) -> jazzuavity
Francois Truffaut. Jean Luc Godard. The French invented “suave”…
Well, this might be discounted as a ringer, but I’d vote for Graham Greene.
He also gets bonus points for getting sued by Shirley Temple.
J Hoberman has struck me as decidedly un-geeky on the few occasions I have seen him in the flesh. And while Kent Jones may not qualify as suave, he is certainly no geek either.
karina longworth
What about the photographer of the critic on the right?… (And why is that version so blurry?…)
Kim Morgan. Aww hell yeah. Though I don’t know if “suave” is quite the right word.
No idea what his manners are like, but every picture I’ve seen of John Simon pretty much encapsulates suave (old-white-guys-from-New-York division). Complete with unspoken hints of one not to be fucked with, an essential component of suave since James at least.
Suave, hell. Molly Haskell is positively chic.
Andre Bazin, who you kind of resemble in the photo, Glenn. (:
Is it just me or is Manohla’s review kind of simplistic – she seems to be trotting out the old Paradise Lost / “The devil gets the best lines” complaint. I mean, yeah, the man Nazi is charismatic; how does that invalidate the film?
All these invocations of suave-ass French critics leads me to ask the Random Question: whither smooth German film critics?
I think that even today Glenn evinces a certain Laird Cregar-esque suavity.
I have to second the Elvis Mitchell selection, Glenn–as you may recall, he actually rises from his seat at a table when ladies excuse themselves to the powder room. In the 21st century, that pretty much constitutes varsity-level suavity.
Don’t forget Stephanie Zacharek and Charles Taylor! I think a photo of the two of them is the first entry under suave in the dictionary.