Well, January Jones is, as I note in my review for MSN Movies, looking reasonably fit in the new action thriller Unknown. Which I see was rated relatively highly by Armond White, who’s liking the cut of Liam Neeson’s gib jib these days, only White thinks the picture might have been better still had it strived more to avoid “political confusion.” What a freaking chucklehead, that fellow. I have a really funny alternate title for it but printing it would constitute a spoiler, so later for that, okay? Unlike some of my stricter brethren, I am anti-spoiler, at least in this context.
Continuing the “O hai” theme, we have, above, the obligatory shot of a hot chick (the young lady being reduced to filling this function is Teresa Palmer) walking away in slow motion from a building she’s just blown up in I Am Number Four, which I also have the privilege of reviewing this week at MSN Movies. I Am Number Four is literally loaded with obligatory shots, if you will, and the lot of them added up amount to what is probably the worst film I have seen this year. And yes, I am counting Uncle Kent. (Although the differentiation here is mostly one of zeroes; I think both films are equally cynical and opportunistic, but I Am Number Four is cynical and opportunistic with a lot more money.) Further details in my review, which is in an unusual format that I hope provides amusement.
Hot chicks don’t look at explosions.
well then, i’m glad i didn’t waste my free pass to the Regal for this flick!
Can’t really tell from the pic, but that Teresa Palmer is one beautiful woman. I wouldn’t notice the explosion either. The possibly even prettier Diana Agron is in this movie, too, so, uh, part of me wants to see this, if you know what I mean. But yeah, UNKNOWN looks like the best bet, since I really liked Neeson in TAKEN, and there’s January for my hot blonde fix.
Idiom alert: that would be “the cut of Liam Neeson’s *jib*.”
Aw, shit, I meant to correct that before I posted, honest.…
LOOK AT HER!!!! AND HER!!!!
Teresa Palmer is like a bioengineered mix of the most beautiful woman of all time, Kristen Stewart, and the most beautiful lesbian of all time, Amber Heard.
In case you don’t know, that means “BONER.”
Wait, I AM NUMBER FOUR is really that bad? DJ Caruso is a pretty dependable B‑level straight-shooter. Though from the trailers, it doesn’t look like this has much of his usual sheen. Maybe it needs LaBeouf or something, who is Mifune to DJ Caruso’s Kurosawa.
“I Am Number Four” is not only entirely appalling, but Ms. Palmer isn’t even IN IT all that much.
She’s hot? I’m sure she’s lovely but she has no waist. Interesting.
“Unknown,” however, sounds like a veritable parade of male pulchritude: Liam Neeson, Aidan Quinn, and Frank Langella?
Oy.
Yeah, I’m old.
Yeah, the “no waist” thing wasn’t really noticeable (to me, anyway) in the films I’ve seen her in (BEDTIME STORIES and THE SORCERER’S APPRENTICE). But she shore is purty.
Hard to believe in the 21st century, movies are still using the “walking away from explosions” shot. Staggering actually.
I prefer ‘staggering-bloodily-unsteadily-and-possibly-aflame-away-from-explosions’ shots, such as ‘Casino’ and Imamura’s ‘Black Rain’.
THE OTHER GUYS had a nice tweak of the explosion shot.
Come to think of it, screw walking AWAY from explosions. What about those shootout scenes in Woo’s ‘Hard Boiled’ when you’ve got real live actors, Tony Leung included, walking/diving/jumping INTO and THROUGH explosions!
And its not even limited to action movies – see the overwroght melo INSIDE DAISY CLOVER for an earlier example of the “walking away from explosions” shot.
My favorite line of your linked MSN review: “Honestly, the god-awful, no-budget, grade‑Z 1959 potboiler ‘Teenagers From Outer Space’ had more integrity than does this piece of militaristically oppressive, micromanaged tripe.” Good one.
And the faux dialog…capturing today’s zombified constant multi-tasking corporate culture oh-so well.
LM
Yes indeedy “the great Bruno Ganz” has some fine scenes, including a very fine scene with Langella.
I guess it all comes down to this: At a certain point in watching UNKNOWN you will ask yourself,“how much of my brain matter should I engage in thinking about this story?” Answer yourself very, very carefully.