Asides

A friend writes...

By June 14, 2012No Comments

Hello,
 
You sir are a mor­on.  Your cri­ti­cism of the 10 worst Adam Sandler movies is well at best mor­on­ic.  Do people really pay you for your opin­ion?  If so they need to call the BBB on you cause you are rip­ping them off.  Seriously?  The Waterboy?  Big Daddy?  Mr. Deeds?  If you think these are some of his worst movies i would hate to see what you think of Dont Mess with the Zohan or what you think of Spanglish or any of the oth­er truly wretched sand­ler flicks.  Im not gonna lie he has done some abso­lute terds for movies but your choices are WAY off in out­er space.  Did you actu­ally attend school when you went to col­lege or did you just pay 50 bucks and print your dip­loma?  Honestly You would­nt know what a bad movie was if it was your sis­ter and slept with you every night.   You should give up your job as a shitty film crit­ic and try some­thing youre prob­ably gonna be bet­ter at: Fry cook at Mcdonalds.  Ofcourse, you prob­ably would fuck that up too.
 
Regards

No Comments

  • Andrew Bemis says:

    Yeah, Glenn. Get your terds straight.
    You Don’t Mess With the Zohan is actu­ally not bad.

  • preston says:

    You would­nt know what a bad movie was if it was your sis­ter and slept with you every night.”
    Just excellent.

  • Mike carmack says:

    Im gonna have to dis­agree with the water­boy being on the list I cant think of any­one who does­nt love that movie besides you.

  • rotch says:

    Not that I agree with your friend there, but going through the man­dat­ory msn 20-clicks-to-go-through-a-ten-item-list and not get­ting to read your thoughts on Reign Over Me, my most loathed Sandler flick, was kind of a letdown.

  • Glenn Kenny says:

    Seems to have been a bit of a con­sensus over the years that I’ve just been too soft on “Reign.” This could in fact be true. God knows right now I can­’t think of any reas­ons to have cut Mike Binder some slack. I’ll have to go through some rig­or­ous self-examination, or something.
    Preston, my ACTUAL sis­ter might not agree. Hee-hee.

  • CLICK and BEDTIME STORIES are two dif­fer­ent movies? Christleyus Surprisibus.

  • Owain Wilson says:

    I wondered how on earth you might com­pile a 10 Best Adam Sandler Movies list giv­en what’s on the 10 Worst, and then I figured both lists are prob­ably interchangeable.
    Big Daddy is rather enjoy­able, though.

  • jbryant says:

    I’ve been some­thing of a Sandler apo­lo­gist of late (lonely work), since I think ZOHAN, FUNNY PEOPLE, PUNCH DRUNK LOVE and THE WEDDING SINGER are quite good, and my girl­friend has con­vinced me of the dumb charms of BILLY MADISON. This has even led to me hav­ing a mildly pos­it­ive response to JUST GO WITH IT and find­ing CLICK and BEDTIME STORIES middling-to-weak but not actu­ally bad. However, I’ve man­aged to avoid most everything else on your list. Not being able to make it past 15 minutes of THE WATERBOY (hi, Mike Carmack) has­n’t exactly sent me scur­ry­ing to exper­i­ence MR. DEEDS, THE LONGEST YARD, BIG DADDY, et al.

  • Lord Henry says:

    This is clearly a work of Outsider Art.
    Henceforth, I will now begin every e‑mail I write with the words, “You, sir, are a moron.”

  • Adam Sandler is unbearable.

  • Peter Labuza says:

    You would think star­ring in “Funny People” and real­iz­ing much of the film was a meta-commentary on how awful his movie roles had become would have been a wake up for Sandler. Instead, he’s only doubled-down on his awfulness.

  • Owain Wilson says:

    We cyn­ic­al Brits looked upon Reign Over Me as American cinema at its very worst and stayed away in droves. I’m not even sure it received a the­at­ric­al release. So tell me, how bad is it really?

  • Brian Padian says:

    Great list Glenn. but how did ‘spang­lish’ not make the cut? ser­i­ous terd

  • Tom Russell says:

    REIGN OVER ME has strong per­form­ances all around, and there’s a sin­cere, humane writer-director at the helm. It mostly avoids being cloy­ing, but the last act– which has a courtroom sequence– blows.
    Nice list, Glenn, and you get at the heart of the Sandlerian mode I don’t find appeal­ing. (I’d be inter­ested in see­ing a ten-best list as well.)

  • Tom Russell says:

    Er, let me reph­rase that– the film itself is writ­ten and dir­ec­ted with sin­cer­ity and human­ity. (I just remembered the oth­er Binder I’ve seen, which is neither of those things.)

  • jbryant says:

    Henceforth, I will now begin every e‑mail I write with the words, ‘You, sir, are a moron.’ ”
    Lord Henry, you’ll have to lose those com­mas if you want to be true to the ori­gin­al. “A friend” does­n’t do com­mas (except the one after “Hello” and the one after “Ofcourse”(which needs to be one word from now on, ofcourse).
    Brian: I actu­ally con­sider SPANGLISH to be under­rated, or at least over-maligned. I thought it was kinda cute. It’s sort of like a sit­com by Renoir. Sandler seems uncom­fort­able in a couple of spots, like he’s dying to break out into full Billy Madison shtick, but he mostly pulls it off. Tea Leoni, saddled with the least likable char­ac­ter in recent American film his­tory, is fear­less, and the sup­port­ing cast is mostly great. Some have found the film pat­ron­iz­ing in a limousine-liberal way, but I think Brooks is really try­ing to get at some­thing about cul­tur­al dif­fer­ences. His efforts can be clumsy, but his earn­est­ness is thank­fully min­im­ized by his flair for com­edy. I also find his ram­bling struc­ture rather refresh­ing amid the sea of for­mula that Hollywood usu­ally navigates.

  • Petey says:

    Im gonna have to dis­agree with the water­boy being on the list I cant think of any­one who does­nt love that movie besides you.”
    Im gonna have to concur.
    The Adam Sandler filmo­graphy is chock-full of “worst movies”.
    If I had to pick a BEST of the sad lot, I’d go with The Waterboy or Little Nicky.
    (I found Punch Drunk Love prob­lem­at­ic for sim­il­ar reas­ons that I found Hard Eight problematic…)

  • Thinking that Adam Sandler is over­due for the kind of film aca­demia treat­ment giv­en to Jerry Lewis.

  • Petey says:

    Thinking that Adam Sandler is over­due for the kind of film aca­demia treat­ment giv­en to Jerry Lewis.”
    Too fas­cile. He ain’t no Jerry Lewis, but there still must be BESTS to pick out of the sad lot.

  • Joe says:

    Honestly You would­nt know what a bad movie was if it was your sis­ter and slept with you every night.”
    This reminds me of Frank Costanza’s insult to George’s boss on Festivus: “You could­n’t smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe…I lost my train of thought.”

  • lipranzer says:

    The crit­ic at Time Out Chicago said, and I quote: “If Sandler changed his name to Nicole Holofcener, you’d be read­ing kinder reviews.”
    Kill me now.

  • Claire K. says:

    I’m sure that was an improve­ment over his first draft, “You would­n’t know what a bad movie was if…something something…INCEST!”

  • Petey says:

    and I quote: “If Sandler changed his name to Nicole Holofcener, you’d be read­ing kinder reviews.” Kill me now.”
    Honestly, You would­nt know who Nicole Holofcener was if she was your sis­ter and slept with you every night.

  • Hubert Ausbie says:

    The cret­in who wrote this will be the Head of Security Management at his loc­al air­port when the neo-fascists finally take over this coun­try in 15–20 years. Laugh and mock him and his ilk now, while you have the chance. The level of illit­er­acy and anti-intellectualism in this coun­try isn’t so cute any more. It’s start­ing to unnerve me.

  • kdringg says:

    So if you rewrite the titles of your 10 Worst Sandler flicks insert­ing in the word ‘terd’ you can get more laughs than these movies delivered and some truth in advertising.
    10 Big Terd
    9 The Longest Terd
    8 Terdproof (iron­ic title)
    7 The Terdboy
    6 Mr. Terds
    5 Terd
    4 Bedtime Terds (alt – Terdtime Stories, either works)
    3 Just Go With Terd
    2 Terdkeeper
    1 Grown Terds (alt – Terd Ups)
    Feels like some­thing from the IDIOCRACY.

  • Tom Russell says:

    Okay, Petey, I’ll bite– what was prob­lem­at­ic for you about the two Anderson films?

  • Cinemafunk says:

    Sandler had his hay­day, but since the mid-00s, he’s a waste of space. Funny People was a bet­ter vehicle for his sup­port­ing talents.
    I do wish I got hate mail like that. 🙂

  • Dan Coyle says:

    Signed, Jonathan Nolte, Age 45.
    C’mon, we were all thinkin’ it.

  • Petey says:

    Okay, Petey, I’ll bite– what was prob­lem­at­ic for you about the two Anderson films?”
    It’s a good question.
    I think PTA has made two abso­lutely superb films, and one damn good one. So I’ve wondered from time to time exactly why I dis­liked those two. It’s not my usu­al pat­tern, as I usu­ally find even mis­fires from really good dir­ect­ors to be interesting.
    And I don’t have a par­tic­u­larly coher­ent answer except that I could nev­er engage those two movies on any real level. (Well, oth­er than think­ing that the dir­ect­or really wanted me to feel things I was­n’t feel­ing.) And I did try both a second time.
    In short, they left me con­tinu­ally bored dur­ing the viewing.
    To slightly expand, all I could focus on was the creaky machinery of the films. Nothing in the films them­selves was enough to dis­tract me from that. Sorta the same feel­ing I have with the Elia Kazan / William Inge Splendor in the Grass. (And Kazan made some superb movies too.)

  • Stephen Winer says:

    It is pos­sible to love Jerry Lewis and still hate Adam Sandler. That said, I did like Punch Drunk Love and pieces of Funny People. Spanglish gets a pass from me for Cloris Leachman who gets all the good lines (okay, the only good lines) includ­ing a gem about rais­ing chil­dren that I’d hap­pily copy here if I could remem­ber it word for word.

  • Bilge says:

    I have this weird sus­pi­cion that this might just be a bait­ing troll type. My (pos­it­ive) review of the film attrac­ted a couple of these. One in par­tic­u­lar (the first) stood out as being sim­il­ar in tone to this one. Note the use of commas.
    http://www.vulture.com/2012/06/movie-review-thats-my-boy.html