As promised, live-blogging of the Oscar telecast is beginning from an undisclosed Brooklyn location. Barbara Walters is unspooling some sort of "greatest hits" reel…or was…now she's showing baby pictures of Sandra Bullock…ooh, look at that Blind Side clip of Sandra talking smack to a crack dealer…she ain't a patch on Eastwood in Gran Torino…"I can't believe she's married to that jackass," Mario says when Jesse James comes on. Maybe I should tell him about James' prior wife…
Guests are still arriving, and the live-blogging will begin in earnest at 8:30 Eastern time, because I don't really do fashion—can't compete with the Fug Yourself crew, for one thing—and also I gotta get something to eat. Anyhow, the guests are still streaming in, but here are a few of the delightful crew you'll be hearing from, second hand, this evening. At left, myself and My Lovely Wife (frome hereon in to be referred to as "MLW"). At right, myself, Coleen M., and our gracious co-host Patrick K. And while I did say I was gonna steer clear of fashion comments, I cannot let the two Cinnabons that Charlize Theron has appliqued to her breasts go unremarked upon. "She looks like she's run into fuselage," says MLW of Sarah Jessica Parker's metal Chanel thingie. Indeed.
Yep. Charlize Theron, or as she is now referred to here, Rose-tits.
you are my oscars tonight glenn. on a plane and the stream from justin.tv is not working. so blog hard, blog well and blog free!
How are you watching in Brooklyn? With rabbit ears? Or, do you not have Cablevision there? I’m stuck trying to watch it online — which proves you want what you can’t have b/c I didn’t particularly want to watch to begin with, but now that I can’t, I totally do! I least I can follow your live-blog. Have fun/looks like a fun crew!
It’s simply wretched already. I’m counting on you for entertainment.
Clooney? Clooney? Anyone? What’s the deal?
IT’S BACK ON!!! YIPEEE!!!!