Resistance is futile, of course. You aren’t in Shatner’s presence ten minutes before he reverse-engineers your emotional state; first, you adopt those conversational rhythms of his—everywhere, the jelly!—and then, by God, you start to feel the enthusiasm of your words, an enthusiasm inevitably heightened by your knowledge that this is WILLIAM TIBERIUS FUCKING SHATNER! you are dealing with, the most meta, the most absurd, human being in Western Civilization, and you fall in love with that meta-absurdity, the bonanza of impunity and laughs it generates.
’Tis the season to reboot tired franchises and this week we get an explosive new look at James Cameron’s beloved Terminator. Set only nine years in the future (when open-air battlefield heart transplants will be de rigeur during la guerre), the Judgement Day of T2 has destroyed most of the West Coast of the USA and only a hardy band of ill-equipped rebels are keeping the monstrous Skynet at bay.
John Connor, prophesied future saviour of the human race, is a only a soldier in the rebel army but his regular radio broadcasts bring hope to the scattered, ragtag freedom-fighters. In a battle to rescue some human prisoners his entire squad is killed – but he does manage to release the mysterious Marcus Wright (Aussie boofhead Sam Worthington) who may hold the key to the defeat of the machines.