Why is this man smil­ing? “Er, Victoria, a pigeon’s just crapped on my shoulder.”
Presenting the first of my weekly (weakly?) lists of stuff I’ve stumbled across via the web over the last sev­en days.

Firstly, it is unlikely that I will be pur­chas­ing the new red England away top des­pite my being a prime can­did­ate (I bought the 2002 revers­able ver­sion and still wear the blue side). Even though it is un homage to the clas­sic 1966 World Cup win­ning shirt it’s still too busy for me. What is it with the little white “thing” on the right shoulder and the Umbro logo is as wide and prom­in­ent as the three lions? And they have per­severed with the tiny gold star which made the last shirt seem like it belonged to the People’s Republic of China. Anyway, on to the inter­est­ing stuff:

• The Guardian talks to Underworld, Ray Davies, Pete Shelley, Richard X, Johnny Marr, Nick Hodgson, Rhymefest, Peter Hook, Tony Hicks, Gary Numan, Ron Mael and KT Tunstall about how some of their sig­na­ture tunes came to be:

“The drum pat­tern was ripped off from a Donna Summer B‑side. We’d fin­ished the drum pat­tern and we were really happy, then Steve acci­dent­ally kicked out the drum machine lead so we had to start from scratch and it was nev­er as good.” (Peter Hook from New Order talk­ing about “Blue Monday”)

• Not new, and not updated since Feb 2004, The Truck Driver’s Gear Change chron­icles those crimes against pop music caused by a chord change dur­ing a song the only pur­pose of which is to dis­guise the fact that song­writer has run out of ideas. Examples (mp3) include Wings’ “Mull of Kintyre”, The Jam’s “Going Underground” and Terry Jacks’ “Seasons In The Sun”:

“Not only is there a pre­ma­ture gear change after the second chor­us, but towards the end of the song there are a fur­ther two in a row. They’re so ill-advised that you can hear the nervous­ness in his waver­ing voice as he tries to res­ist each time. All it achieves, though, is the effect of everything going hor­ribly out of tune. I’m not abso­lutely cer­tain that the word “caco­phon­ic” exists, but that’s the most apt way to sum up this atrocity.”

• “They ain’t cow­boys, they’s sheep her­ders” (via Metroblogging Los Angeles)
• WFMU’s “Beware of the Blog” uses Google Earth to loc­ate ten favour­ite movie loc­a­tions includ­ing the cliff Bud Cort drove his car off at the end of Harold and Maude, the water­fall pool that Michael York and Jenny Agutter dive into at the end of Logan’s Run and the bank and street from Dog Day Afternoon. I can­’t run Google Earth on this age­ing PowerBook but I look for­ward to soon join­ing the 21^st Century. Maybe even next week.
• 9 tips for run­ning more pro­duct­ive meet­ings. Excellent, sens­ible advice.
• 359 pieces of advice to dir­ect­ors of Shakespeare:

255. Casting a black Desdemona along­side a black Othello is kind of miss­ing the point a bit.
256. The Montague clan are not ali­ens. No, really, they’re not.
257. No mat­ter how much homo­erot­ic sub­text has been built up over the course of the play, I will not end Richard II by hav­ing Henry pull Richard’s dead body out of a pool of water, hav­ing him pro­ceed to lie on top of it, and then roll, the one over the oth­er, all over the stage in com­plete silence until the cur­tain comes to hide them from the audi­ence’s bleed­ing eyes.

• Finally, not only has someone in a fea­ture film got my name, he’s the title char­ac­ter – and this is a film with Bruce Willis and Ben Kingsley! Some people are used to shar­ing the same name as char­ac­ters on screen (I know an Anderson and a Harper who must be sick of it) but will be a new exper­i­ence for me.